* PATIENT LOVE ---zandra

[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: ASDJASKJD.

the city of los angeles was gorgeous, he only had a couple weeks to spend here until he would have to pack up once again and head back out to his stationed base. finn hated being on the move so much but it was easy since he wasn't leaving anyone behind. his mother had called him a couple of times just to check up on him. he was staying in los angeles with his friends from highschool. they were kind enough to let him stay, he probably only got the pity yes.. he was an army troop serving for his country.. who would refuse that? finn always got many thanks from people when he wore his uniform in the airport. it was customary for the troops to wear them home. it was an honor to do so but finn always felt foreign in the uniform. nobody knew that it was all a sham and a feeble attempt to make something out of his life.

as finn walked into a local starbucks that was just down the street from the place he was staying in, he smelt the coffee aroma dance into his senses. coffee was something finn lived off of, his insomnia and incurable nightmares stopped him from getting a good nights rest. he stood in line and awaited his turn, he he approached the barrista he ordered a large black coffee with a shot of vanilla. he got his coffee from the side table and went to sit at a table. finn wasn't watching where he was going and stepped on a girls foot. "oh i'm sorry miss, it's my fault." finn said quietly before looking down with apologetic eyes. he gave a half-smile and hoped she wasn't too upset, finn didn't spill his coffee on her luckily.. that would've been a bad move.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alexzandra sophie mills]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] this is love at first sight The Words: 333 The Outfit: THIS The Notes SDLRGKHL Zandra only had a good muse whenever she was around people. The process of writing a song was something that took her a long time. She would take weeks to finish just one, so that was one of the more reasons her album was coming out so slowly. She was happy she had a three record deal with this record label, and they told her she could take as long as she could, they had a lot of faith in her talent. She felt confident and hopeful that this was going to help her reach her life goal and let people know what was in her heart. She loved to put her feelings in the lyrics and to let people know what was in her heart. She was hoping her songs would touch people, would make a difference in the world just like some have done so far. The starbucks was the place she went more ever since she found out she was a sexsomniac, she never stopped drinking coffee. Coffee became her best friends, she drank as many as she could so she wouldn’t fall asleep. She didn’t want to wake up next to stranger like she had before. After a few months her organism started to become used to it and she started to have insomnias. She considered herself lucky because she knew it was dangerous for her. Anything could happen to her when she was asleep and walking around. After getting into starbucks and ordering her regular mocha, she walked over to the regular table she usually sat in. as she walked she felt a very heavy foot stepping hers. She let out a small scream of pain, loud enough to have a few people around her and the guy look at her. “oh ouch…” she said before she looked up to the guy and it was like her heart stopped. “no… It’s okay.. I wasn’t looking…” she added after as she let herself fall to the couch behind her. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: yay!

finn took months to write a poem, he would concentrate hard and would try to pick the most beautiful words. in highschool he would enter plenty of open mic contests, some of them actually had cash prizes which was always a good thing. his books were filling up pretty fast now, his insomnia was getting worse and worse as the days went by. he would write down all his thoughts and feelings, scribbling them down a sort of way to vent. he never went to go see therapists or talked to anyone in particular. finn was guarded and never let anyone see his emotional side. he hid beneath a facade that everyone thought was a brave young soldier who was very confident. little did they know, the death of his uncle and father shook him from deep within. he felt it swallow him whole and he would never be the same young snappy kid again.

the dark haired woman let out a small shriek as he stepped on her. finn immediately apologized he was always very courteous to women, they deserved the utmost respect. most guys undervalued the women in their lives.. not finn. he treated every girl he met like a princess, but he wasn't the guy with the girlfriend. she accepted his apology and plopped on the couch behind her. finn smiled and looked to the ground, then back up at her. the woman was very beautiful, her long dark hair fell loose. she was breathtaking and finn had to stop and stare at her before answering properly. "o-ohkay, may i?" finn asked before sitting down. he plopped down beside her and sipped his coffee, he hadn't seen her around this starbucks before.. he had been here everyday for the past week. she may have been a regular here but he just may never know it. "so, before i rudely bumped into you, how are you uh.. i don't think i caught your name. i'm finley, finn for short." he said holding out his hand for a nice friendly greeting. he looked away from the brunette, her beauty was making him start to blush.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alexzandra sophie mills]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] this is love at first sight The Words: 365 The Outfit: THIS The Notes SDLRGKHL Zandra had been to countless doctors to try and figure out a way to actually have some results and she would stop sleep walking so much but nothing seemed to work. She felt so depressed about all of it but the music would always make her feel better. It was like the episode in school, when she fell asleep during a class and it happened. when she felt someone call to her, it was too late, she was half naked on top of the teacher trying to have sex with him. After that it was like her whole world collapsed on her. She was being called a whore and embarrassment to the girls, a porn star even a playboy girl. She even had thought of killing herself during that time, she almost did it but music saved her. Music was her ‘shoulder to cry on’ sort of speaking. She began to sing and write her feelings and she let all of it out. When she graduated she promised she would never fall asleep on a public ever in her life. As she sat down, she kept looking at the light brown haired guy in front of her. He was handsome, he looked like the kind of fairy tale princes right out of a book or movie. As he asked if he could, she just nodded still trying to believe what just happened to her. She rubbed her foot a bit trying to make the pain go away and just getting her breath back again. Bringing the drink to her mouth taking a sip then placing it on the table she heard him speak. “I bit tired but… good. You?” she said before placing her hand over his and bit her lower lip. Her hand strong hands, they were soft though and warm. Her stomach twirled a little bit, she felt weird. “alexzandra. But people call me Zandra or alex. It’s nice to meet you fin.” She added shaking his hand softly. taking her hand away softly she picked her coffee and took another sip. It felt so good. “so, i never saw you around la before, you new here?” she asked looking into his eyes. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: yay!

finn was only back for a couple of weeks, when they flew soldiers back home they usually had a choice of where to go. truth be told, finn never returned to ohio. he didn't want to see his mother or the broken up sham of a mother she was today. the death of her husband had broken her and she had basically become bipolar. she never really wrote finn and when she did her life seemed like an awful mess. he worried about her and felt reassured that his paycheck was going right to her. he missed ohio, he truly did but it reminded too much of the pain he went through with his uncle and father. everything reminded him of something familiar and he hated feeling familiar with anything. finn also didn't want his mother knowing how messed up the army made his mind. he was just trying to do the right thing for the country when in reality it was the wrong thing for him. he wondered if this would turn into a career for him, it was his second time in iraq and he didn't know if he liked it or hated it quite yet.

when he got a good look at the woman she had very pretty dark brown hair that nearly looked black.. if you looked closely in the light though, it had a brown hue. she had gorgeous brown eyes that he only saw for a brief moment. he took a sip of his coffee and sat down his to her, he had always been polite and treated girls the right way. "i feel the same way.. tired but good." finn nodded and shook her hand. he was glad to have a name to a face now, he made a note to remember her name. she was really pretty but finn tried hard not to get attached to people.. it just made saying goodbye even harder. "zandra, very pretty." he repeated a little softly under his breath. he let go of her hand and watched her sip her coffee before speaking. she had a grace about her that he had never seen before, finn had a thing for woman with delicate hands. "you could say new." finn shrugged, "i haven't been to l.a. before but i won't be staying long enough to be new in town. just visiting some old friends. i come here nearly every morning, how come i haven't seen you here before? surely, i couldn't have missed you, nobody could miss a face like yours." finn smiled, he wasn't used to flirting. he never wanted to have a girlfriend overseas which is why he never tried.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alexzandra sophie mills]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] this is love at first sight The Words: 413 The Outfit: THIS The Notes SDLRGKHL The word therapy to zandra was very familiar, when she was younger she did a lot of it. Every week she had appointments to go to, it didn’t help her much because they tried hypnosis and it always ended up doing something she regret, but the therapist seemed to like it very much. It was so embarrassing for her but her parents never believed her, they thought he was doing such a great job that she was almost forced into going. Alexzandra had a pretty messed up life, gaining her independence was the best thing it ever happened to her. She was trying her best to live a normal life, but that not always happened. she still had a lot of sexsomniac attacks but they were more calm now that she was on a new medicine that actually was good for her condition. At least in the days she actually slept, that weren’t a lot these days. Looking to the guy in front of her, she could see from the bags around his eyes that he hadn’t been sleeping. It took an insomniac to know one. She nodded to him accepting his answer. “it’s better than being tired and not good.” She said shrugging a little bit. When he said her name was pretty, she blushed a little bit. People say she had a weird name, that Zandra was a men’s name. she tried telling people her name is alex so people didn’t make fun of her, but she felt like she could tell the guy that was in front of her. She could trust him, she just knew it. “thanks.” She said with a slight smile and looking down starting to play with her fingers. Taking another sip of the coffee, she waited for him to answer her question. That’s why she never saw him around la before, she would clearly notice him before, she was pretty sure of it. “that explains a lot.” She added softly putting her coffee down. “I have a pretty forgettable face, I have been told.” She said after, trying to make her blush go away. “anyway, thanks, but people tend to forget me.” She shrugs before looking to him. “welcome to la…” She said raising her hand and showing around the coffee. “the land of lost dreams.” She added chuckling a bit. Taking another sip of her coffee she smiled to him. “so, what you do for a living?” she asked before placing the coffee down. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: yay!

finn never had been to a therapist much after they had told him about his PTS. he refused to believe he was in that kind of condition. the fact that his job messed him up so much hurt and he didn't want to give it up anytime soon. he wasn't done proving he was a hero yet. his mother barely noticed when he returned home during christmas decorated with army badges. he just wanted everyone in his family to be proud of him and what he's done. too bad they were too busy still grieving over the loss of his father and uncle. it had been years since it happened but unfortunately these deaths weren't easy to forget. finn wanted not only to please the living, he wanted his father to be proud up in heaven. he didn't want anyone to know about his PTS either, it showed weakness and vulnerability. he hid this secret among the many others in his mind. these secrets he hid under just fueled his depression and made him slip further and further into oblivion. he just needed someone to save him from himself.

he watched zandra carefully, she wore a little bit of makeup but it was pretty obvious the bags under her eyes. he knew she had quite a few sleepless nights like himself. "well i feel better now that i have company." finn admitted softly, when he was alone his thoughts ate him alive. he would think himself into a deeper depression and that was never good. he took another sip of his coffee, he loved the coffeeshop atmosphere. it was a mixture of calm but busy at the same time. the staff rushed about and the people sipped on their coffees as they tried to be cool and hipster --whereas finn just wanted to stay awake to talk to this pretty girl. "your face? forgettable? those words should never go together in the same sentence zandra. the only appropriate sentence with those words is 'your face is unforgettable because you're so beautiful." finn said smiling softly. he wasn't good at flirting and he didn't even know if this girl was single, he hoped she wasn't. she welcomed him to l.a. finn chuckled softly as she said the last statement. "thank you." he said raising his cup of coffee and then bringing it back down to sip it. he nearly choked on his coffee when zandra asked what he did. he thought quickly, tell the truth or feed her lies? if he had any chance with her it would probably be best to tell her the truth. "i'm overseas serving my third term. what about yourself? you must be a model with that darling face." finn tried to change the subject to a much lighter mood, he didn't want to put a damper on a good conversation with his career. "do you live in l.a. full time?" finn asked.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alexzandra sophie mills]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] this is love at first sight The Words: 550 The Outfit: THIS The Notes TOO BIG, SORRY. The first time zandra really crashed down in her life, was when in school people posted her pictures all over the school, from the time she almost slept with her teacher. She really couldn’t understand why he didn’t stop her because it wasn’t normal, a girl with closed eyes to start to take her clothes off, but to him it was some sort of entertainment. He got fired the next day when the pictures started to roll around the school and reached the dean. He was touching her and taking advantage of her on top of the table. Zandra remembered even trying to take he own life, she didn’t go to school right after all her high school mates called her a slut and stripper. People didn’t understand what she was going through, even her friends, left her, stopped talking to her because she had such a bad reputation. She was the low of the low. If there was a bottom to the high school food chain, she was the line that touched the floor. She was the most hated girl in school and it made her feel like a total waste of space, it made her feel like she didn’t belong, she didn’t need to be in the world. she was going to kill herself. But fortunately didn’t because her mother brought her to her senses. Zandra giggled a bit and shook her head softly. “I am forgetful or people would remember me and my first music video, but they don’t.” she said softly her hand playing with the piece of string that was coming out from her sleeve. She still remembered the time she was just a little famous, she had like her first fifteen minutes of fame she was hoping it would come again when she finally finished her album. Then she realized he said she was beautiful. She blushed and almost turned as red as a tomato, she could actually feel her face like it was burning hot. “stop embracing me.” She added as she covered all of her face trying to make the blush go away. She didn’t why his words made her blush so much but she was starting to think that she might have a crush on the guy that was right in front of her. When he mentioned he was serving, he heart almost fell to the ground. He was an army guy, he was pretty much all the time away. She bit her lower lip, now her face starting to blush a little less. “so you are in the army then?” she asked a little bit too obvious knowing that the answer was yes, she just had to ask anyway. “I am a singer, I am not that photogenic to be a model though.” She said after chuckling a bit. She looked at him and just frowned a bit. she just wished he had another job though, this made them so unfit for each other. If they even started to get anything, they would probably end up breaking up because they would have so much time without seeing each other. Her head nodded to his question. “born and raised.” She said smiling. “where were you born?” even if they couldn’t have a romance maybe they could be good friends or something. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: yay!

highschool was a tough place, he was the theater geek, poet, and writer guy. finn adored the arts and tried so hard to succeed. he really wanted to pursue his theater career but his mother was putting pressure on him to actually do something with his life. that's when the military dawned on him. all his friends were shocked to find out about his career choice. they all wanted him to join them at performing arts school but unfortunately his mind was already made up. he still wrote poetry from time to time while traveling around iraq from mission to mission. the guys would always ask if he was writing a girl from back home. they had this idea that he had a steady girl at home, they were all very wrong. finn wanted a girl more than anything but he didn't want to drag anyone into the burden of having an soldier boyfriend/husband. he never wanted a girl to go through that. he saw the struggles the other soldier's had to go through with their significant others. it was tough, it was a solider life, nothing came easy.

zandra giggled and shook her head, "wait you have a music video?" finn asked blankly. "i'd love to see it." he commented shortly after his first statement. finn was used to blending into a crowd or being noticed by a couple girls. it was a good confidence booster but at the same time he knew he wasn't ever going to quit the army... which meant not getting a girlfriend. which meant he would have to die or be deployed back home for good. either way, finn wasn't happy. "aw you're so cute when you blush though." finn said trying to peak around her hands to see the hint of blush on her cheeks. she was so darn adorable it hurt. when finn mentioned his career he watched her face drop and her face transform into something else. he knew that finding out someone was in the army was tough, he just hated seeing that sudden drop in happiness. it made him feel like his career was an awful choice. "yes, i am. third time around and still kicking." finn said chuckling softly, he was blessed to still be alive... or was he? he just wanted people to know he actually did something with his life. "a singer? w-o-w, i bet your voice is really pretty." finn admired, he wished he could heard her sing. he saw her turn and face him and slightly frown, he knew she was slightly interested in him before... now he had ruined his chances with mentioning his career. "oh nice," he nodded, "born in ohio, i relocate a lot though. i've been everywhere, or anywhere they send me really." finn shrugged. he sipped his coffee, "so, whens your boyfriend getting back? and will he kick my ass for talking to you?" finn asked glancing around the coffee shop, ready to bolt at any second.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[alexzandra sophie mills]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: dddddd; border: #cccccc solid 8px; width: 420px; padding: 15 5 15 5px;] this is love at first sight The Words: 460 The Outfit: THIS The Notes TOO BIG, SORRY. The only boyfriend that zandra had, left her cause of her illness. It wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t control it, it was like she had someone inside of her controlling her body when she was sleeping. Like she had a double identity, her normal self than the demon, the sex addict that moved around at night to try and get some luck. He even called her a slut, the first time someone ever called her that. She didn’t like the word and she would never call someone that because knew how much it hurt, people just were so unconscious that called others names without even knowing what was going on. Zandra wondered many times if those people had brains or something that could be considered as such. Zandra chuckled and nodded her head. “I’ll show you sometime.” She said with a smile on her face. Zandra was a small girl, she was below average than all the other girls, only when she wore girls she could get taller and be more noticed. She usually got stepped on and pushed around when she was on crowded people, they didn’t see her so they would just stumble into her and then apologize. She was actually getting used to it because it was something that happened on the daily basis. “stop it please. No more making me blush, please.” She said peeking through her fingers to him and smiling like a silly girl. He looked so cute trying to peek through her finger, she just wanted to snuggle him close to her. She then nodded at him when he said he was on his third term. She was gladly there were men fighting for their country, but she didn’t want to fall in love with one that was constantly on and off of the country. “that’s amazing!” she said trying to be all optimistic about it. She looked at him and shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head slightly to the side. “I am okay, I guess.” She thought about leaving the fact that she was recording , she was thinking that maybe when he got out, she would give him a special copy as a gift, he would probably like it. She nodded to him and smiled taking a sip of her coffee right after. “ohio… nice.” She said to him before taking a sip of her coffee. When he asked about her boyfriend she almost chocked on her own coffee, she swallowed hard and then started to cough. “boyfriend? Me? I don’t have one.” She said still coughing a little bit. why was he so interested in that? “I bet your girlfriend back in ohio is missing you very much though.” She added after, her coughing started to go away now. created by ADE! Pb-ified by WILL

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[finley dallin raymond]

theres a thunder in our hearts baby

so much hate for the ones we love

TAG: ZANDRA/PAULA OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: yay!

finn never had a relationship in highschool, he liked this one girl for a while.. but she had a college boyfriend in theater too. he had no chance with her. it had dawned on him that being friendzoned was the safest bet to not being hurt. most girls didn't even realize that finn was flirting with them or he even liked them. he was awful at flirting and being a gentleman to most girls just caused him to just be "that-nice-guy". every girl just wanted a bad boy nowadays... where was his princess?

when zandra laughed he felt himself perk right back up, "i look forward to it." he smiled. the way he saw it, zandra was unforgettable. even if he left the coffee shop and went back to iraq he wouldn't forget a face like hers. she had a beautiful smile and she was just so petite that he just wanted to snatch her up. finn wished at this exact moment he wasn't in the army and maybe he would have a chance with her. zandra covered her face with her hands, when finn tried to peak around her fingers she blushed even more. "okay fair enough, i won't try to make you blush anymore.. but no promises." he said laughing slightly. for once, finn felt... happy? was that the emotion? he hadn't felt this way for a long time and no one had ever made him smile so much before. "thanks, i'm just trying to serve my country." finn said with a hint of sadness, he really wished he wasn't in the army right now.. he even wished he wasn't leaving l.a. in two weeks. "ohio and nice shouldn't go in the same sentence." finn sipped his coffee, ohio was great.. but there was way too many memories. when he asked about her boyfriend she nearly choked on her coffee, she started to cough. finn looked at her with concern and hoped she was alright. he didn't mean to startle her. "what?!--" finn burst out, she wasn't even done speaking yet. "i'm surprised, you're so beautiful and charming.." he said a little more softly. when she asked about his girlfriend he nearly choked on his coffee too. he coughed, "do you really think a girl would want a guy in the army? no no no. no ma'am." finn said coughing a few times before composing himself. "i've never had a girlfriend actually.." he admitted, he wasn't sure if he was admitting too much information... but hey, he was probably never going to see her again. he hoped he would but since he was leaving so suddenly she probably didn't want to associate herself with him incase anything happened to him overseas.

tell me that we both matter dont we

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.