WHAT'S MY FAULT IN LOVING YOU? }} CARTER<3

[chasity kyra abel]

[td]

The laptop lay on her lap, as she went through the conversations of today between her and Anya, over and over again. it was well known to almost everyone that Carter had slept with Anya. He used to be a player before he finally settled with kyra, which was like the most impossible thing to happen after all the bitter feelings and hate the two had been through. She nearly gave up on her life just because of all the hatred he had shown to her that night and suicided, but survived and landed in comma for over a month. it was his presence that made her wake up from comma. it was his words that brought her back frm the deep sleep, more like he gave her a new life. that day they started off with friends and she didn't know when it turned into love. she had given up on everyone, even her family who were only using her for the sake of money she earned. they made her feel like she was a slave that they had sold away for money. all these thoughts would make her want to just die but her reason of living now was firstly Carter and his love and then her friends.

she went through the photos of carter & anya she found online and compared them with the pictures of hers and carter. to her, they looked better together but she wondered if anya was more attractive than her or what? maybe she was. she was rich, famous, good looking, everything that Carter was, perhaps that's the reason he liked her. she was attractive so he slept with her. her conclusion was that she wasn't attraction enough hence carter never gave in to do all that normal couple would do. he was calling her but she wasn't answering his calls. she didn't know what to tell him. she wasn't mad at him, she was mad at herself, more like ashamed to be not good enough to attract him to herself. leaving her laptop on the sofa, she went in the corner of her room and started crying. by her side was a knife. she picked it up and looked at it. life was just miserable; every now and then she would feel like she wasn't good enough, so why live such a life? why not just end it. she placed the knife on her wrist but couldn't do anything further than that. she loved carter, her friends and enjoyed every minute she spend with them. she put away the knife and stay back, crying her heart out.

The barrymore family was still out of town and Carter had an extra key so he could walk in and leave whenever he wanted. she heard the door open but stayed still, crying, knowing it was him. She burried her face on her knees as she hugged her knees and cried softly. i'm sorry i'm not attractive enough, carter.

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[carter julian williams]

Carter knew sooner or later, Anya and Kyra would talk or interact with each other. He would never admit it, but it was one of the things he was actually nervous about. When Carter was mad at Kyra, he had certainly become a jerk to everyone. He was boring and cranky. After a few days, he started to lessen the jerk personality. Then Anya came along and lets say... they did sleep together and flirted. Even Chester and Colette witnessed that online. Carter wasn't really into relationships after what happened years ago with his last girlfriend, and Anya wasn't into serious things too. So it was just a little 'fun' night for the two. Carter slowly became the hyper Carter again after that, though. He wasn't really cranky anymore. For the past days after that, he pretended like he doesn't know Kyra. He pretended like he didn't care. But Colette and Chester, they mentioned it online that Kyra was in the hospital and in a coma. For weeks, she didn't wake up. It worried Carter. He knew he was the only reason it could've happened. But that's not the only reason why Carter drove off to the Hospital and confessed everything to Kyra. He knows to himself that he feels something for Kyra, he's just afraid to do anything about it. He had to do something before everything was too late. When Carter arrived at the hospital, he was glad Kyra was awake. He didn't really had anything planned to do. Heck, he wasn't even sure of what to say. But he couldn't help it. He said everything to Kyra. And he was glad she still accepted him. If Kyra never woke up, perhaps Carter would think of commiting suicide again. Like he did years ago.

Carter never actually thought it the two would talk soon. And from the sight of his laptop, it was obviously not a good thing. Carter didn't know what to do. He could flirt and joke around with Anya, but that would hurt Kyra. He could tell Anya off, but she was his friend. Even though Kyra said she isn't mad at Carter, he knows she's still upset. If Carter was in Kyra's position, he would be very upset. But Carter didn't want Kyra to feel like that. He loves Kyra. That's why he let his doubts go away and actually became serious with her. For the past weeks of their relationship, Carter actually became happy. But now... he wasn't really sure of what to do. He felt weird... like he needed to go and check over on Kyra. Like he needed to make sure she was alright.

Carter sighed and closed his laptop. Perhaps his senses were right. He should check up on Kyra. So that's what he is gonna do. Carter grabbed his keys and phone. He got out of his room. "I'll be back in a few." He told the boys since they were living in the same house. He went outside to his car and drove off to the Barrymore's. Kyra gave Carter a spare key. So either way, he could always visit her and check on how she's doing. Carter knows the Barrymore's are out. Their car wasn't around. Carter parked it in front of the house then knocked on the door. No one really answered so he pulled the key out of his pocket and opened the gate and door to the Barrymore's house. Carter found Kyra by the living room, crying. Carter's face softened. It killed him to see Kyra upset. He wanted to make her happy and feel special about herself, always. Carter sighed and walked over her and kneeled down. "Kyra..." He started and used his finger and lifted her chin up gently to look at her beautiful eyes. Then looked at the side of Kyra to see a knife. Carter felt tears by his eyes. He threw the knife away from them and hugged Kyra tightly. "Don't be sorry about anything. I love you just the way you are. You are special to me. You are one of a kind..."

[chasity kyra abel]

Kyra didn't know when she started to fall for Carter. She was never romantically involved with anyone before. Her job never gave her chance. He was her first. The reason she fell for him had to be his sense of humour, or was the importance he gave her, nobody had ever made her feel like that before. She was a nobody. Never appreciated for anything. All of a sudden, Carter enters her life, makes her feel extremely special, they spend time together for a day or two chatting and share a passionate kiss. She was the girl who had nothing in her life than to work her ass off, earn as much money as she could & send it off to her family. that was like the main aim of her life, to keep her family satisfied. as for herself, she was hopeless. Until Carter stepped in, who made her feel like her only purpose in life was to be with him. In no time, he turned into someone who could make her smile & cry at the same time. He meant like everything to her. Through him, she made amny other friendslike Colette, Chester, Cadeyn, Eli and the list goes on. He had dragged her into a stage of life she had never been in before or even dreamed of which was good. Bad things did happen later onwards, to such an extend that she almost killed herself if Chester & Colette haven't come up to save her. She fell in coma for a month, so much deeply that sometimes the doctors might say she was in her last stage. It was Carter's appearence that brought her back into her senses and she woke up. they started off friends again and fell in love again, this time it was mutual and he asked was asking her out on dates, making her like the happiest girl on the entire universe.

Life had been going good until Anya showed up today on chat and Kyra was reminded of the past. She sat back, tearing down into pieces. If Carter could do it with Anya & not her, then perhaps she wasn't good enough for him. it had to be her looks that didn't attract him. She threw away her cell phone, ignoring calls and texts from anyone especially Carter. She was going through a crucial time. She sat in a corner, crying out as loudly as she could. She had to take off the burden of this pain from her heart and the only way to calm herself down was cry as much as she could. Luckily for her, The Barrymore family was out of town. Kyra picked up the knife, her emotional side asking her to end her life for once but her head stopped her. she couldn't kill herself. She loved Carter too much to let go of her life. She threw away the knife and put her head of her knees, hugging them, she continued to cry. She heard footstep and knew Carter was there. He called out her name and lifted her chin up, making her face him. She saw the tears in his eyes and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to herself. He told her that he loved her. She was special. She believed him but sometimes words weren't enough to convince her. She wanted actions. There was this girl, who lived only for her family.. worked like a slave so she could earn them some money & keep them happy but now her purpose of living is this guy, she loves him a lot but she can't help but feel worthless...not good enough for him'' she sat back, indirectly expressing how she felt. why anya, why not me? the main misery escaped her lips and she looked down, letting the tears fall down.

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[carter julian williams]

Of all the girls in Carter's life... Kyra was the most special. She was the girl who made Carter love again. She was the girl who Carter confessed everything to. She was the girl Carter trusted again in years besides from his family. She was the girl who made his life brighter than it was before. Kyra was certainly the most important person in his life. He wouldn't let anything happen to her. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Kyra again. Kyra had suffered enough because of him... and Carter was sick of hurting her. It was time to make her happy... to make her feel like the most luckiest girl in the world, to make her feel like the most happiest girl in the world. That was his goal.

Carter made a mistake years ago. He fell in love with this one girl... he was really serious about her. Even if they're still young, he had dreams of marrying this girl. She was his everything. He treated her like a princess. He made sure she was always happy. He gave her everything, even his first time. People often called him the sweetest boy in their class. That was a good thing, perhaps. The night they first made love, at least to Carter, was the cause of a... pregnancy. Carter got the girl he loved so much, pregnant. But he didn't even knew. The girl kept it from him... almost everyone knew but no one said a word to him about it. Maybe the girl was afraid... or maybe she just didn't feel anything for him. Carter was clueless about his supposed to be child... that is until he visited the girl's house. The girl left him alone while she went out to buy snacks. Unfortunately, the girl was actually planning to break up with him. To shatter his heart... but she wanted to do it without anyone else knowing. Carter went around her house and saw papers. Papers that stated she had miscarriage. Carter held the papers in his hands. He couldn't believe it. He lied to her but it already happened. His child was killed. He still remembers what happened that day.

Ever since... he never wanted to fall in love again. He went into depression a few years before the band. He was a mess. He almost committed suicide but he was glad that he found his mates. They made him forget about his problems. He was actually happy. He had let loose and dated girls and flirted with them. Sometimes even sleeping with girls that wouldn't mind to just be... Friends with Benefits or one night stand. But that was about it. He never took anyone seriously. He never told anyone about it his story, either. But... Kyra was the exception. He never thought there would be something special between them. But there it was. She was also the first person Carter admitted his big depression to. Carter loves her with all his life now. It hurts him to see her hurt.

Carter knew Kyra's life wasn't the best either. It made him angry to know she was treated in such ways. Carter had long planned to take in Kyra so she'd just live with him instead. Carter would give her everything. He won't let her work anymore. But... he was afraid the Barrymore's might not agree with his idea. He was afraid Kyra might think they were taking it fast. Maybe in a few years... maybe even in a few months. Carter sighed and stroked her hair while kissing her forehead as he listened to her story. He never really loved anyone's pain. Anya was different from Kyra. They were two different people. Anya and Carter had certainly got their 'fun' times but... Kyra... she completed him. He would never settle down without Kyra. She made him realize that something that happened before can change. He can start new. "Kyra...you know why, right? I told you in the hospital..." He first whispered, a tear falling by his cheeks, too. "I love you and... I respect you. I don't want you to do anything that you would regret later on. You know what happened to me right? He asked her, lifting her chin again and wiping her new tears. Anya... she... we might've done it but it meant nothing to me. I want the both of us to be ready when the time comes. I love you, Kyra and that was the past. There's no one else in the world but you. You're not worthless... and... I'm the one who isn't enough for you. You're too good for me. You deserve someone better. Not me...." He said, his voice cracking every now and then.


NOTE: Sorry if it isn't good >.< I'll try to do better on my next post. Sorry Amz!