Post by emmett benjamin wagner on May 15, 2013 15:13:30 GMT -5
(Just imagine there is a library xD)
A sigh escaped his lips as he tapped his pencil against his piece of paper small marks from the tip making marks on the page as he tried to think, he always hated writers block and lately it seemed like he was having it often. ‘Fifty pages by the weekend, that shouldn’t be hard’ he had thought to his self on Monday and now it was Wednesday and he was only twenty pages in and on top of the other work he had to do he just wasn’t even sure it was possible. He knew the idea of being a published author on top of being a college student sounded silly but after publishing his first book, he thought he could do it but meeting the demands people seemed to place on him was always difficult. He had to remember that he was still a teenager because that always seemed to be the most important thing to remember when it came to his life style, he still had to sleep and he had to make sure he had time to his self as well. On top of his job at the local diner and his classes, he was basically going insane and he was sure that these darn twenty pages would end up to be just what did him in.
He sat at the same chair he had been for over an hour now, writing and erasing the same few lines over and over again his lap top sitting beside him left untouched as he tried to come up with the next idea for his book. He was always writing his ideas down first before typing them out, just to make sure he knew just what he wanted to say before he actually said it, almost like how you write a rough draft. It was almost just away to get his thoughts together before he decided to go for the bigger picture, but it didn’t help that for some reason he just really couldn’t seem to think straight and every time he tried to write something down he thought it was stupid and ended right back up at square one again and it just felt like one vicious cycle. At least when he actually published the novel no one would really know it’s him, E.B Wagner, that was his pen name since he was a pretty young author and not to mention the fact his parents always seemed to think that he could never make it in the work as a writer. It was funny though, the money he got for each book sold was being put in his own bank account and being used for college. Yeah, and his parents thought his writing was stupid.
Writing was really the only thing that seemed to keep Emmett sane, when he was writing he was able to escape the world and his parents didn’t matter for once even when he knew that once he closed his lap top his life was basically back to hell. He really hated living this lie he was always living, hiding who he really was to his parents and playing the role of their perfect straight son with a wonderful girlfriend who he had been with for two years now. Sure he was dating someone, but it wasn’t a girl at all, and he was far from being perfect. Emmett was gay and secretly dating a boy for those two years and he was really in love with them and always seemed to think they had the perfect relationship and they did almost. Emmett was always so surprised that his boyfriend was able to understand the situation and be okay with dating in secret while in public they were just best friends and Emmett couldn’t say that it didn’t hurt him though because it really did hurt him a lot, he hated that he had to hide and pretend because he loved someone who just happened to be a guy. It wasn’t like Emmett was really any different, he was still the same person even though he was gay and it wasn’t that he was ashamed of whom he was but he knew his parents would be.
His parents were against gays, in fact he was pretty sure his parents hated gays just by the way they scoffed at any gay couple they saw on the street. He was always so sick, just having to be in their family knowing just how awful they could really be and knowing that he really couldn’t do much about it either. It seemed to make his whole situation a lot graver for his self, and he really hated that. Setting his pencil down he groaned raking his fingers through his short blonde hair, he was on the verge of just giving up now.
