you found me --april

[jasper kane donnelly]

jasper had caught the first flight home the exact date he was allowed out of witness protection. today was his first day back home in america in three whole years. he had never been so homesick in his whole entire life. jasper was presumed dead by most of his loved ones and the thought of that made his stomach crawl. he couldn't even attend his twin brother jamie's funeral. protective services took away so much from him. not even letters were allowed to be sent to his loved ones. jasper's heart ached with how much he missed april, he just knew when they were reunited, it'll be like the first day again. the love of his life, his soulmate --april. she was his everything and now he was coming home to her. he just hoped she could recognized the mangled body in the casket to be jamie's and not his. he couldn't imagine if she had moved on.. the unlucky sap who stole his woman wouldn't be alive for much longer... jasper had quite a temper.

as jasp got dressed in the hotel room he would be staying at until he moved back with april he moved at lightning speed. he put on his navy blue uniform and fastened the snap buttons. he had shaved for this event and his hair had grown from the regular buzz cut to a fohawk on the top of his head. his hair was covered by his navy hat and he slipped into his black shoes. he stood before the mirror, a sham of what a real marine was. he wished he had died in battle noble like his brother.. instead, he hid like a coward for three years. jasp headed out the door and caught a cab straight for april's house. he paid the driver and slipped out of the cab. he straightened out his uniform and walked towards the door. he took a deep breath in and knocked at the door. he waited for the answer and just hoped she was as happy to see him. when she answered she was even more beautiful than the day he first spotted her.. "april," the sound of her name came out like a sigh of relief. "i've missed you so much." he said extending his arms and stepping forward to wait for her hug.

ooc - rapid fire okay?

[april eloise everdeenie]

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SHE HELD ONTO ALL SHE HAD LEFT OF HIM
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

It hadn't been easy for April to adjust to a life without Jasper, in fact, losing him had nearly killed her. April wasn't a weak woman but losing the man she loved damn near destroyed her. For months after his death she turned into a recluse, locking herself away with all of her memories of him, stopped eating, only slept when her body forced her to, blocked everyone out; to say she was a wreck was an understatement. If it hadn't been for her best friend, she'd still be in that state 3 years later, he's been her rock through her grief and the one who pulled her out of the depressive hole she fell down. The way she coped wasn't healthy, she knew that, but removing every reminder she had of her late husband, moving from the house they shared and doing all she could to block out any thought of him was the only way she could cope.

That day was as normal as any, she'd got up early, took Milo, who'd been a gift from Jasper and the only one she kept around, for a walk, tidied the house, checked her emails and was on the phone to her sister when the knock came at the door. "Can I call you back?" with that she hung up and walked to the door, her sweet smile sitting comfortably on her lips. She pulled open the door and gushed out a friendly greeting "Good mor..." she froze still, the smile dropping to a look of disbelief as she saw the face she missed so much and heard the voice she never thought she would hear again. After a moment of stunned shock she swung the door shut right in the ghosts face, had he been the tiniest bit closer she would have caught him in it. She slammed her back against the door, closed her eyes and counted to ten trying to calm her breathing and her mind. She had finally completely lost it, she'd gone through the phase of seeing Jasper's face everywhere before but she had finally cracked now he was standing at her door. He was dead, she had forced herself to come to terms with that. After a little longer she dared herself to pear around the door again, sure that her hallucination would have gone now she had organised her thoughts. Seeing him still standing there, she now just had no idea what to do, she reached out to touch him, as if checking he was real, tears building up in her eyes before she threw her arms around him and held on as tight as she could wishing she could stay like this forever, and never let got.

Words: 450ish | Status: finished | Muse: so-so | Notes: rapid fires fine <3

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[jasper kane donnelly]

jasper never wanted to hurt april, if anything, he wanted to shelter her. he had joined the marines because there was a long line of donnelly's who were decorated veterans. he wanted to follow in the footsteps of those before him. april always supported his career choice and didn't fuss too much when he left. he would write her every single week he was out at sea and would love getting replies from her. every cell in his body loved her, there was no denying how much jasper missed her. he came off as a rough and tough guy so when his fellow army buddies found out he had a steady relationship back home, they were shocked. he was proud to call april his, she was beautiful after all.

jasper's heart raced as he knocked at april's door, he just prayed that she still lived here. prior to grabbing a cab, he had prayed to God that april didn't move on. he knew she was his soulmate and soulmates just didn't move on at the snap of a finger. as he heard footsteps approach the door he felt like his heart stopped beating. he couldn't breathe and his eyes were fixed on the door handle. as she sighed her name and she cut off her sentence... she slammed the door right in his face. he barely had said a sentence to her and she had slammed the door. was she upset at him? did she not wanna see him? did she move on? all these questions went through jasper's mind as he ran a hand through his hair, frustrated at himself. she reopened the door slowly and reached forward to touch him to see if he was real. to her surprise, he was. as tears built in her eyes she flung herself into his arms. "april," he breathed her name again, taking in her familiar scent. he held onto her tightly and never wanted to let go. "oh baby, i've missed you so much." his irish accent coating over his words, "i'm so sorry... i am so sorry." he said as he let a tear fall from his eyes. "i-i can't imagine what you've been through... and what you must be thinking seeing me here." jasper said his voice soft and loving.

[april eloise everdeenie]

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SHE HELD ONTO ALL SHE HAD LEFT OF HIM
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

No matter how much she tried, Jasper was always on Aprils mind, her dreams were plagued with an array of images of him, some sweet memories of happier times, some of what if's and could have been's but the worse to all were the night terrors where she had dreamed of his last hours, of his death, of the follow up of it. It was these dreams that woke her, screaming, shaking, crying, unable to breath, it was also these dreams that forced her to take the sleeping pills she relied on now, she took enough now so she didn't dream at all, or if she did, she didn't remember them, and they put her too deep in sleep to be wake in the middle of the night in those states. It was thoughts of his death that she had mastered completely blocking out but the rest of her thought of him crept out often, sometimes they made her sad, sometimes they made her happy for the time she had got with him but there was always that underlining misery, that anti silver lining to every thought of him.

There was no place in the world where April felt safer than in Jasper's arms and after 3 years of not having felt it she had forgotten how much she missed is. As she latched onto him she took in everything, the familiar, manly smell of him, the feeling of his heart beating a little faster than normal through his chest, the sound of his voice as he said her name again. If this was all in her head then her brain was doing a damn good job of making him as perfect as he had been in reality. Not that she thought that anymore, nor did she care if this moment was her losing her sanity completely or him really being there, it was perfect either way. "I... Where... I missed you more than words..." she stuttered and sobbed into his chest, barely able to organize the thousand things she wanted to say to him. After a while of letting it sink in her head started to whirl again with questions, the main one being, how the hell was he here and how the hell was the moment even happening. It took every fiber in her body but she eventually made herself pull away from him him, if only just enough to look into those eyes of his. She wanted to ask him everything but now she had organised her thoughts she wasn't sure she wanted to know as every possibility rushed through her mind. The problem was she could imagine what he had been through, all to vividly, she was an optimist but in this situation her mind was automatically going to the worse possibility. "I just can't believe it's really you. That you are really here" she said, barely above a whisper.

Words: 450ish | Status: finished | Muse: so-so | Notes: gah, he looks so hot in that gif, damn distracting

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[jasper kane donnelly]

every night jasper spent in ireland away from april, it felt like a million years. the memories of their first kiss, their first dance, and their wedding all flashed in his mind at night. every memory killed him to the core and he couldn't wait until he came back and was reunited with her. the numerous times he awoke and just wished for her to be just inches away. he had the loneliest three years of his life and he sure as heck hoped april wasn't in another man's arms. jasper just wanted his wife, it was all he ever wanted since he had met her. he was blessed to have found his soul mate so early in life.. without her being across the world from him he would've never survived three years hiding in ireland.

jasper held on tight to april and couldn't believe it was really her in the flesh. he took in the familiar floral scent of her perfume and the smell of her favourite shampoo. all these scents brought back vivid memories of the two of them together. before he left, they were just getting their life started. they had planned to have kids, a huge house, and have a wonderful marriage. all jasper had left for april was a dog named milo. he still hoped that she had kept milo, it would be the only reassurance that april didn't fully forget about him. "i've missed you too, i-i'm sorry." jasper said softly into her blonde hair. she was sobbing into his chest and jasper just held her tight, waiting until she was done with the overall shock to say anything. "it's okay babe, i'm here.." he said over and over as he rubbed her back till she calmed down. he held back his emotions, he needed to be strong for her. jasper heard her say a small sentence barely audible, "i-i know. i have some explaining to do but i'm just glad to be here." jasper said pulling away from her a bit to look at her eyes. he wiped away a couple more stray tears, "may i come in?" he asked, realizing they were in the doorway for all the public to see. "i wanna talk in private." he said looking down at her and kissing her forehead.

[april eloise everdeenie]

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SHE HELD ONTO ALL SHE HAD LEFT OF HIM
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Though April hadn't made it easy for Jasper when they first started dating it didn't take her long to realize what she was getting into was something more than just high school romance, she had fallen in love for him almost immediately and before she knew it, he was her whole life. That life seemed so far off from where she stood that day, 3 years had gone by so agonizingly slowly, each hour without her soul mate felt like an eternity so 3 years felt like she had lived 3 lives without him there in her life. Even so, when those dreams came, those vividly real dreams of what haves and could have been's came along, it wasn't rare that she would wake up confused at what was reality and what she wished was reality, those nights when she rolled over to snuggle up to him only to find that hollow empty space, those were the ones that really hit home how completely alone she was. She still had people, family and friends but none of them were Jasper and no one else ever would be.

Of all the dreams she had had of Jasper, good and bad, none of them had ever been the perfect image of him, and on the rare occasion the dreams slipped though her wall of sleeping pills he seemed to become less and less like himself in them, like she was forgetting how he looked and the sound of his voice and that had been the most terrifying feeling, as much as she wanted to forget so she could get on with her life as best as she could. She never wanted to lose everything she remembered of him. She knew it made no sense, it didn't even make sense to herself when she thought it. That was why this moment had to be real, it was too perfect, he was too perfect to be something her brain made up. She wanted to tell him to stop apologizing to her, she knew that wherever he had been, he hadn't been there by his own accord, she had faith enough to know that if he could have, he would have come back to her sooner, and all she cared about was that he was there now. Her skin tingled at his touch as he brushed her tears away and it wasn't until he asked to come inside that she even realized where they were, she had been so wrapped up in the moment everything else around them seemed to have melted away. "Oh gosh, yes" she said coming back to earth again with the kiss he planted on her forehead. She didn't want to have to let go of him, not even for a second but she knew she was going to have to for him to come in. She breathed him in one last time before she forced herself away from him and lead the way into the house, through the hallway scattered with pictures, some of family, some of friends and the odd one of just her and Alex looking far too happy for their own good on the way to the living room where they met a far too excited Milo who clearly remembered the man who followed April in.

Words: 450ish | Status: finished | Muse: so-so | Notes: rapid fires fine <3

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[jasper kane donnelly]

jasper had been in ireland for so long that he was starting to forget what it was like to be home. the familiarity of coming home and finding april waiting for him with dinner was something he had yearned for. he hadn't had a fresh cooked meal from her in three long years. jasper was quite a cook himself and loved cooking for april when he wasn't at work on weekends. the two of them meshed so well together and what each of them lacked was what the other person thrived in. if april had somehow decided to move on, jasper would see no reason why not return to the army. without april, his life had no purpose. she was the reason to why he stuck it out for the loneliest years of his life. his own mother and father must have had a tough three years without their twin boys.

during the three years, the dreams with april were getting more and more vivid. he just wanted to reach out and touch her when he awoke. it unfortunately didn't work like that. he would reach out and he wouldn't find her by his side. there were many nights where jasp was restless without her by his side. he just needed the comfort of her presence by his side to sleep. jasp never wanted to leave ever again, hiding in ireland meant he had an honorable discharge from the marines. he could return home and live a normal life, with his wife and future kids. he pulled away to brush away the tears that fell from her eyes. he hated seeing her cry but he figured they were turning into tears of joy by now. when april allowed him inside, jasp took a look around.. he saw many frames on the walls of april and her friends. one guy in particular was in a lot of the frames, his smiling face a little too close for comfort. he stared at the photo, his blood already simmering.. he had been forgotten --his worse fear. when suddenly, he heard the pitter patter of milo, his old dog. "milo!" he said bending down and petting him. "i've missed you buddy." he said happily, well, maybe he wasn't all forgotten if april kept milo. he was led into the living room, milo followed, his paws keeping in perfect pace with his steps. jasper sat down on the familiar couch and patted the seat next to him, "we've got a lot to talk about hun, well, more like me explaining where i've been." jasp's voice turned to a exhausted marine's, he was finally going to tell april the truth.. he had practiced this speech a million times but nothing would ever prepare him to actually telling her.

[april eloise everdeenie]

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SHE HELD ONTO ALL SHE HAD LEFT OF HIM
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

It had been a small relief when Alex moved in, he hadn't really given her a choice either way and she had told him she was alright, that he didn't need to but he hadn't taken any of it and for that she was eternally grateful. It had taken away the feeling that she was completely alone, he took away the eary silence of a house with only her in it, taken away the emptiness of living alone, it had also helped that she had someone to do things for again, cooking meals for more than just one person, a wash with clothes that weren't just hers, silly small things that you wouldn't even notice until they were gone. Not that she did all of these things for Alex every day, every once in a while, they shared all of the house work, cooking and cleaning between them. It wasn't that being home alone in the house had been an unfamiliar thing for April even when he husband was alive, he worked away a lot and that left her with just Milo but she was always comforted by the fact that he was always going to be coming back eventually. Milo had been her gift from Jasper, someone to keep her company while he wasn't around and he had worked and still did to a point, he had been like their little baby, an extension to the family they eventually planned to grow much further.

To get her mind off the question of where he had been for three years and the scary images that came to her head when she though this she instead started to wonder what this meant now, would he be back for good, would he be leaving her again? If that was part of the plan she wasn't sure she would be able to let that happen, she had spent too much time without him to ever let him go again, she hadn't even wanted to let go of him from their hug never mind let him go gallivanting off to foreign countries to potentially lose him again. Her heart couldn't take that, not again. These were the thoughts that were going through her head as she passed through the house she had removed every trace of her husband walking behind her from, had she not been so completely shell shocked over the whole commotion of him being there, alive and well she might had clicked onto the fact that it may have looked like he had been forgotten, she might have even seen why the fact she had so many pictures of her and Alex all close and happy in some pictures might make it seem like she had moved on, as crazy as that idea sounded in her head. After what her friends and family thought was an 'acceptable amount of time' had passed they had set poor April on a blind date with some guy and encouraged her to start moving on as if it was just as easy as that. Ape smiled as Milo jumped up excitedly at his daddy, clearly it wasn't just April who had missed Jasper in this house. She took the place next to Jasper on the sofa leaving a tiny bit of space between them though all she wanted to do was cuddle up to him like they would all the other times he came home from being away for a long time. "He's done his job well while you've been gone, haven't you boy" she managed a half smile as the terrier jumped onto the sofa with them and sat on her knee. She gave a hesitant nod when he told her they needed to talk. She knew that she would eventually have to find out where he had been whether she was scared of what he might say or not, so they should just get it out there.

Words: 450ish | Status: finished | Muse: so-so | Notes: sorry these are getting longer and longer...

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[jasper kane donnelly]

jasper had done his job in serving his country, his country had basically cast him off to be considered dead. they had faked his death for his "well-being" but really jasper had suffered more in the past three years than in his whole career. the sad part about the whole ordeal was, he was ready to go back whenever they needed him. they had given him an honorable discharge but in jasper's book no discharge was honorable. april would sure be glad he was out of the marines forever. as for work now, jasper had taken some schooling in ireland and he was now a trained police officer. he had an interview later down at the station in LA to see if he could join the force. nothing made jasper happier than serving cold hard justice.

jasper's mind raced with thoughts with april seeing another man. he wouldn't know what he would do if that ever happened. his heart had already broken once, april had to go through the ordeal of finding out he was dead.. he couldn't imagine the pain she had went through. there were many a nights where jasper imagined if the situation was flipped. would jasper still be the same person? he knew that he wouldn't be. he would be broken and probably would've lived the rest of his life in the army and wait for death. the body of his twin brother had been pretty beat up by the IED explosion, there was no way that april would have been able to identify if that was jasper or jaime. as jasper walked into the house he saw many photos of april and this mystery guy, he also saw a few mens sweaters scattered about in the house. he even saw a pair of mens running shoes. jasper felt like he was being choked underwater by just the sight of these items. had his precious april moved on? he sat on the couch and waited until april sat down next to him, milo jumping onto her lap. "i'm glad my girl had someone to take care of her." he reached over and ruffled the small terrier's head of hair. jasper had no idea where to start, "i don't even know where to begin.." jasper said putting a hand on his chin, thinking. "i am not dead, i never was, i have been alive for three years. alive and healthy. the body you saw was jaime's, not mine. they had said they couldn't recover jaime's body because it wasn't found.. it was all a perfect lie to keep me safe." jasper said, his voice steady, "i've been in ireland but if i could've returned home i would have babe, you've gotta believe me!" his irish accent begging her to believe him, "i couldn't stop thinking about you in those three long and tiresome years. i just wanted to come home to you... i just needed my wife.." jasper said his eyes looking like they were about to cry but jasp rarely cried. "please babe, believe me that i would have come home if i could've.. i wouldn't have just left you, i'm not that type of man." jasper said moving closer to april and taking her hand lightly into his. his eyes searched her for any sign of emotion or hidden message.

[april eloise everdeenie]

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SHE HELD ONTO ALL SHE HAD LEFT OF HIM
AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

Whether Jasper was out for good or not, April knew it wouldn't have been out of choice, as much as he hated being away from home being a marine was just who he was and that was something she had accepted from the very beginning but after the 3 years she had been through, believing that he was gone she felt she had the right to be at least a little bit selfish and for the first time ever, beg that he didn't go back. There had always been the fear that something terrible might happen to him but the fact she had gone 3 years sure he was dead made even the idea of him going back over seas was terrifying. She had known something was wrong even before that faithful day the soldiers came to her door with the letter informing her of his death, it had been too long since she had heard from him, even then the last thing she had let herself think was that he was dead, worst scenario injured but she refused to believe he was gone until she was officially told. The day she had gone with the rest of the Donnelly family to claim the body had been the worst, that was when it really homed in that her Jasper was dead. No one could have been able to tell which of the twins it was on that table but it didn't matter either way, they were told neither survived.

At this thought, April's mind went to Jamie, and then to Jasper having to deal with his brothers death alone. Her heart ached for him and that she hadn't been able to be there for him. Just another reminder of how she had been such a colossal mess that she hadn't been able to be there for the rest of Jasper's family in their time of need. She had always been close with his family and she felt beyond guilty that she had let her grief consume her so much that she wasn't there for them, most of all Jasper and Jamie's mother. She spent every moment she got trying to make it up to them and stayed as in touch and close as she possibly could though each moment she spent with them was yet another painful reminder of her loss. The blonde let a weak half smile reach her lips as Jasper fussed the dog on her lap before returning to the serious, and still fairly lost look. April listened carefully, mulling over each word he said in her head. At the beginning none of it was making sense, he had been fine all of this time? Not even injured, that was good but she had no logical reason in her head why would have stayed gone so long until he continued. Not that what he said left her any less confused "You... you've been fine all this time and we've been here, believing... forced to accept that..." she stopped unable to say the words dead even now he was right there in front of her, very alive. With her pause and stumble over her words he cut in with his pleading for her to believe him. It wasn't believing him that she was having a problem with, she knew in her heart of hearts he would have come back to her "But... but why? Keeping you safe from what? Or who? And..." the reason didn't really change a thing, not really, though it did leave her with even more questions than answers. Why couldn't she have been told this was all just a cover up, what damage would it have done for her to have known he was safe and well? She looked down as he took her hand before she looked back up at him, into his eyes full of so much guilt and hope and torture and everything else he carried in them, hers looking back at him, more tears teetering on the edge threatening to fall at any moment. She gave his hand the lightest of squeezes before she said softly: "I believe you, I just... It's a lot" a lot to take in a lot to consider and adjust to. It wasn't what she had been expecting, she hadn't been expecting any of this so just him being there was a lot.

Words: ish | Status: finished | Muse: so-so | Notes: sorry these are getting longer and longer...

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